March 9, 2019

I’ve been thinking a lot about comfort zones lately, and specifically about stepping outside of them.

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I can’t speak for others, but I know I personally am pushed beyond my comfort zones pretty frequently. I’m an introvert. I’m most comfortable alone or with a small group of people I know well. I’m perfectly content without a lot of attention on me, especially in big groups. As a child I was the most shy person ever. I remember hiding behind mom or dads legs anytime I was introduced to people I didn’t know. In school I was a little better but I can guarantee most people who I became friends with, wasn’t on my own accord. I also cannot remember a day going by where I didn’t get flush red from being embarrssed by something or someone. Mr. Lane Johnson (who plays for the Philadelphia Eagles and is now a Super Bowl Champion) was notorious for calling me out for my red face when I would get embarrassed, thus making it even more red. It didn’t help I had the biggest crush on him in junior high but regardless, not a day went by that I wasn’t feeling awkward or uncomfortable about something. I don’t mean uncomfortable in a necessarily bad way either, I just mean I was out of my comfort zone. I was so shy in fact that about a year after I made cheerleading in 7th grade, mom admitted to me she never thought I would make it because I was too shy. *Rolls eyes* Thanks mom.

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I can’t remember at what point in my life the tables turned and I stopped being less awkward, shy and uncomfortable but I’m guessing it was something to do with cheerleading or all the public speaking events I ended up doing. Cheerleading was the first thing I wasn’t shy about. I remember going into that tryout in junior high feeling so confident, crushing it and walking out with a good idea that I would make it. Granted I still had butterflies and probably my first dose (and definitely not last) of anxiety…but I was pretty confident. Around sixth or seventh grade is when I started to really play with my comfort zones…and to this day, it hasn’t really stopped.

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But fun fact: I’m still pretty shy! I just hide it a lot better now and thankfully don’t get beet red every time I have to communicate with someone I don’t know well. I still have my moments but they’re few and far between thankfully.

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The most recent “omg idk if I can do this” moment was a few weekends ago in Oklahoma City. A week or two prior to this 30 hour OKC layover, I was playing disc golf at Will Rogers Park and noticed a flyer for an upcoming tournament, the 2019 Norman Snowball. The tournament just so happened to be the same day as my long layover. I took a picture of the information and saved it so I could go. As with every grand plan I ever have, it sounded like a blast. Ever since I started playing disc golf I’ve been eager for an event to fall at the same time and place as one of my layovers. I found the local facebook page and saw a few people talking about the tournament and chimed in that I was planning on going. I got to OKC the night before the tournament and rented a car so I could make it to the event the next day. It was freezing cold when I woke up the next day, about 19 degrees with a hint of the typical Oklahoma wind. I almost talked myself out of it before I even got out of bed, but my frugal self couldn’t justify not going since I spent money on a rental so I could make it. So I forced myself to get up and head to Norman. I don’t know why but driving up to a place I don’t know, full of people I don’t know…gives me the worst anxiety! I was only a few miles away and I was literally contemplating going back to the hotel. I hadn’t felt that uncomfortable in a long time, but this day I was well out of my comfort zone. It wasn’t like I was walking into a bar or party alone with no one I know or nothing in common with anyone. I was literally going to play a disc golf tournament, where everyone else was there to do the same. For whatever reason though, I felt a level of discomfort I hadn’t felt in a while, and if you know anything about the disc golf community you know they’re some of the most welcoming people in the world and my stresses were completely unwarranted. I was immediately introduced and shown around by some locals and ended up having a blast with all the girls on my card and walking away with some new friends and new plastic! It was definitely worth the 30 minutes of anxiety I felt on the drive there. I’m sure I’ll be feeling that level of anxiety tenfold when I get to Finland in June for another tournament where I’ll definitely know no one, but I have no doubts it’ll be 100% worth it and I’ll find my groove.

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I say all this because I think it’s important to constantly push our own boundaries and step out of our comfort zones. I’ve had a lot of people tell me things like, “I could never travel in another country solo like you,” or “you just go out to eat, explore or play disc golf alone on layovers?” Too many times in the past I missed out on experiences or opportunities because I was too nervous to go at it alone. My college experience would have been even more amazing had I not missed out on so much because I worried about being uncomfortable or feeling alone in a group of people I didn’t yet know and I have some regrets because of it. Thankfully since I’ve started flying I don’t let those fears hold me back anymore. Granted I’ve wanted to back out a few times, I always powered myself through…just like I did in OKC for that tournament.

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Without a doubt some of the best experiences of my life have been as a result of stepping out of my comfort zone. I mentioned in my last post about some of the goals I set for myself in high school and was surprised I had accomplished them all. The number one thing on my list for the longest time was to ride a bull, which I did. When I signed up for the week long Sankey Bull Riding School in the summer of two thousand and ten or eleven, I was excited and terrified. I wasn’t terrified of the steers I was going to ride, I was terrified to walk up there being the only female with almost 50+ men and more than anything, not knowing a single soul there. I’ll take a bucking bull over a crowd of unknowns any day but almost immediately when I arrived I made friends with two guys who were also there for the bull riding portion of the school. Fast forward eight years later and I’ve sailed around two countries with Craigan, his amazing wife, and the many others from the Lost at Sea Crew. If I never had the guts to go to that bull riding school, I would have never ending up making all the insanely awesome memories and friends I’ve made while sailing on The Yacht Week or the Bucket Lust loyalty route we have set for November in Tahiti.

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It’s easy to get stuck in our ways or become complacent. It takes no effort to stay stagnant. It’s uncomfortable to step outside of our comfort zones. It can be awkward, painful, embarrassing and anxiety inducing even…but if it’s something you really want, I can almost guarantee it’ll be more than worth it. I’m so thankful that I somehow blossomed from that extremely shy child into someone who wont let fear hold me back. Life is way too short to wait around for others to live your life with you. Eating dinner alone at a restaurant doesn’t have to be a negative thing, it can be relaxing and enjoyable. Traveling alone doesn’t have to be scary or stressful, it can be enlightening, eye opening and empowering. Going to a concert or museum alone doesn’t make you lonely or weird, it means you’re confident and secure enough to do things without the safety net or someone else. I’ve had several people lately tell me I inspired them to book a vacation or try something new and that makes me really happy. I don’t want to inspire people to dream, I want to inspire people to do! I don’t want anyone to feel envious of my experiences, because not all that glitters is gold. I just hope to inspire people to say not that they want to do something, but that they will.

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So go out there and get comfortable, being uncomfortable. I promise where ever it takes you, it’ll be worth it! And by all means please share your stories with me so we can inspire others to do them same!

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Kelsie